Showing posts with label love. Show all posts
Showing posts with label love. Show all posts

Monday, June 28, 2010

Teenage's challenge

Dulu ketika saya dealing dengan anak-anak muda, permasalahan yg mereka lontarkan selalu mengenai PH (Pasangan Hidup). Setelah 1.5 tahun saya tidak bertemu dengan mereka pun tetap sama, pergumalan mereka sebagian besar berhubungan dengan PH lagi...

Apakah PH menjadi suatu tantangan besar bagi anak muda di Indonesia sekarang?
Saya pikir iya.

Banyak faktor yang saya simpulkan kenapa seh teenager memiliki urge yg gede to pursue ke hubungan dating, bukan courtship tanpa consider apakah benar aim mereka adalah go to marriage? consider apakah Tuhan telah menjadi posisi pertama didalam hati mereka;bukan calon PH mereka? bukan hanya i love you, you love and done, tetapi lebih dari itu banyak hal lagi yg perlu kita consider.

Faktor utama adalah pengaruh keluarga. Banyak teenager yg kurang mendapatkan kasih sayang dan perhatian yg cukup dari orangtua mereka yg mereka harapkan. Karena situasi ini, maka teenager menjadi lonely sehingga mencari pelarian kasih dan perhatian lewat dating relationship sebagai pelampiasan mereka.
Kasih dan perhatian memang sangat dibutuhkan oleh semua orang dan memang salah satu necessary needs especially teenager yg berada dalam masa mencari jati diri dan belum dalam tahap emotional yg cukup stabil membuat adanya urge kepada mereka untuk fulfill needs mereka untuk dikasi dan dicintai sehingga banyak dari mereka mengatakan "I dont want to be in this way, but I cannot help it."
Bagi orangtua, saya kira perlu dan penting role kalian bagi anak2 dalam memberi perhatian yg cukup bagi anak2nya jangan sampai jatuh kepada hal2 yg tidak diinginkan.
Apa yg mereka akan lalui, akan mempengaruhi akan menjadi siapa mereka kedepan.

Kedua adalah urge dari temen2 didalam communitas kita yg mempengaruhi kita untuk mencari PH.

Ketiga, karena culture yg mengatakan bahwa cowo atau cewe kalo tanpa PH kurang baik.
Dll.

Karena situasi diatas, mereka dibutakan untuk menyadari bahwa necessary needs yg mereka butuhkan sebenarnya tidak dapat mereka temukan didalam PH mereka. PH mereka pun manusia biasa dengan kasih yg terbatas memberi kasih dan perhatian. Pada dasarnya, Tuhan kita adalah kasih so kasih yg kita cari yg kita butuhkan hanya bisa kita dapatkan dariNya karena kasihNya tidak terbatas, tidak habis dan tidak taking for granted (kamu harus mengasihi aku baru saya bisa mengasihi kamu, Tuhan kita tidak seperti itu).
Mencari kasih dari manusia, tidak akan pernah kita akan puas.
Oleh karena itu, ayo temen2, cari dulu necessary needs kasih kita yg datang dari Dia yg adalah kasih adanya. Setelah kita telah content dengan Tuhan kita, Dia adalah pertama dalam hidup kita, baru kita mencari PH didalam kondisi kita sudah mantap untuk go to marriage.

ada satu letter yg saya berikan bagi teman saya, yg menurut saya dia mengalami hal yg sama dengan teman2. Mungkin ini juga bisa jadi encouragement bagi kalian semua:

"....ga gampang berdiri ditengah temptation buat dikasihi lebih tapi ak percaya oleh kasih karunia dan kecintaan yg dalam kepada Tuhan membuat semuanya menjadi mungkin :) itulah yg ku sebut menaruh hati dan kerinduanku didalam tangan Tuhan tanpa menghandlenya dengan caraku melainkan dengan cara Tuhan yg lebih agung dan mulia itu :)"

Karena kecintaan Tuhan itu menjadi mungkin karena kita tahu siapa Allah yg kita percaya. Sehingga ketika persekutuan yg dekat itu akan membuat kita tahu bagaimana sehh cowo yg sungguh mengasihi Tuhan (the imitator of Christ who loves us with unconditional love, follow and obey God's word not my emotion, etc). Mengashi bukan cuma ke gereja, giat melayani, tetapi lewat hidup mereka apakah mereka berani mengorbankan yg mereka paling inginkan bagi TUhan? berhenti mengikuti emosi yg ga eternal nilainya bagi Tuhan yg eternal? etc.

."Menaruh hati dan kerinduanku didalam tangan Tuhan"... perlu karena Dia tahu yg terbaik bagi kita. Sering kali kita sebagai manusia terlalu mengikuti emosi kita, sehingga kita ingin menyelesaikan/to achive apa yg kita mau dengan cara kita, tanpa menunggu waktunya Tuhan. Cara yg dia lakukan pasti mulia da agung. Ketika kita bener2 menunggu waktunya, semuanya akan indah dan membuatmu tersungkur dan memuji Dia melihat bagaimana Ia mempertemukan kamu dengan PH kalian =)

Really...think about it.
Put Him as your 1st prince, and partner of life as the 2nd one.
Kalo kita menaruh PH kita yg pertama, ketika diambil Tuhan dari sisi kita, itu akan menyakitkan dan kita akan kehilangan harapan seakan-akan dunia ini telah berakhir.
Tetapi ketika kita menaruh Dia sebagai pangeran kita yg pertama, walaupun partner of life kita tidak bersama-sama lagi dengan kita, kita tetap dapat hidup didalam pengharapan karena kita tahu yg the real one adalah Tuhan, pangeran kita yg ada dan tidak pernah meninggalkan kita dan selain itu, we will see our partner of life some day in heavenly home =)

Friday, April 16, 2010

Anak?

Apakah tujuan akhir ketika kita menikah harus memiliki anak?
Apakah memiliki anak merupakan hal yg sangat membahagiakan ketika melihat tantangan dan hal2 yg perlu kita hadapi?

Pertanyaan ini keluar dipemikiran saya ketika saya diberi suatu kesempatan oleh Tuhan lewat keluarga koko saya untuk menjaga keponakan saya, Celine namanya.
Celine adalah keponakan pertama saya. Secara pribadi, saya sungguh bersyukur dan senang boleh menjadi seorang kou2 baginya. Awal dari tujuan menjaga celine adalah karena tidak ada pembantu, dan ipar saya sedang keluar kota karena ada urusan yg harus dikerjakan.

Unexpected ternyata Celine sakit ketika sore hari. Saya sudah notice karena celine meminta saya untuk terus menemani dia ditempat tidur which is saya merasa behaviornya dia berbeda dari biasanya. Setelah kira2 jam 6, saya baru notice dengan koko saya bahwa celine demam!!!

Kami memutuskan untuk ke Rumah Sakit dan celine selalu minta saya menggendong dia sampai saat ketika kita diparkiran celine muntah dan meminta saya menggendongnya. Waktu itu sempet berpikir mau ga yahh? since saya ga ada baju ganti. In the mean time naluri saya berkata bahwa saya harus menggendong dia ketika dia perlu saya (scra psychology anak2 akan merasa ditolak) so saya pun menggendongnya walaupun baju saya harus kotor dan bau tapi inilah harga yg harus kita bayar karena saya mengasihi dia =)

Ketika pulang, saya membersihkan badan celine, menyanyikan lagu baginya agar dia boleh tidur, selama 3 malam berturut2. Sometimes, dia suka tengah malem bangun dan membuatku tidak mengerti apa yg dia inginkan dan memanggil "kou2" padalah saya ada disana hingga saya memutuskan untuk berdoa baginya dalam hati "Tuhan, aku ga tahu apa yg celine mau dan ak bingung. Tuhan biar Engkau tutup bungkus dia dengan darah anak dombaMU sehingga kuasaMu selalu ada atasnya dan pulihkan menurut kehendak dan kuat kuasaMu. Tolong Tuhan....". Setelah saya doa, celine sempet diem, saya juga bingung and then saya langsung meyanyikan sebuah lagu "Jesus love me yes I know" sampai dia tertidur. Saya bersyukur untuk hal itu :)
Long story short, besok paginya tangan saya seperti olahraga angkat besi hehe...

Ada resiko bagi saya menjaga Celine ketika dia dideteksi sakit cacar air. Penyakit ini bisa menular saya since saya sendiri belum pernah cacar. Tapi dengan consideration yg ada yg terlebih lagi karena saya mengasihi dia, saya tidak bisa menolak karena masa2 umur celine sangat membutuhkan kasih untuk dapat bertumbuh dengan baik, tapi bukan berarti memberi segalanya seperti apa yg dia mau.

3 hari setelah menjaga celine, ternyata gantian saya yg sakit demam dan radang. Saya diminta buat nyetir ke airport karena celine mau digendong papanya. Ada resiko bagi saya nyetir tapi belajar untuk betahan melawan pusing dan demam selama saya bisa menahan selama perjalanan menuju dan pulang dari airport hingga ketika sampai di tempat koko, saya langsung tepar hehe...Wahh saya kira bentar lagi nehh bakal cacar tapi puji Tuhan, Tuhan tidak membiarkan itu terjadi, walaupun iya saya juga tetap bersyukur :)

Koko saya sebagai Ayah juga ga kalah pengorbanannya dan pastinya lebih banyak berkorban daripada saya. Dari ga makan karena melihat kondisi anaknya, ga kerja, kurang tidur, memanjakan anak, his affection and love to his child, membuat saya begitu kagum dan bersyukur celine memiliki Ayah yg begitu caring terhadapnya :)

Apakah tujuan akhir ketika kita menikah harus memiliki anak?
Yes we have kalo memang Tuhan berkehendak, tetapi kita juga tidak boleh berencana untuk tidak memiliki anak karena itulah design sex yg Tuhan ciptakan bagi manusia. If we do, kita berdosa dihadapan Tuhan.

Apakah memiliki anak merupakan hal yg sangat membahagiakan ketika melihat tantangan dan hal2 yg perlu kita hadapi? Nope...honestly tidak gampang karena banyak hal yg perlu dikorbankan dari ngurusin poop, sakit, dll...tetapi dibalik itu semua sebenarnya anak itu adalah hasil dari unification cinta kita kepada spouse kita sehingga hasil cinta tersebut pun ketika kita mengalami tantangan dan pengorbanan seperti yg saya uraikan diatas menjadi nothing. Seperti yg bible katakan kepada kita Kasih itu sabar menanggung segala sesuatu!!!

Greater love, greater pain, and sacrifice is required in love.

so think twice are you ready to getting married...
Are u ready for that? :)

Friday, January 22, 2010

Kasih yang Polos

topik yg cukup menarik dan uncommon untuk dibicarakan.
Topic ini keluar di pemikiran saya ketika mendengar sharing dari teman baik saya.
Long story short, saya belajar banyak hal dari sharing yg kami lakukan, yaitu:

1. Mengasihi dengan hati yg polos tidak mudah dan tidak banyak bisa kita dapat di dunia ini oleh karena kasih yg polos adalah kasih yg murni oleh karena kasih itu belum menjadi cacat (dilukai, etc) sehingga ketika kita mengasihi sesama, kita menggunakan kasih yg utuh (tanpa menquestioning dia, tanpa meragukan dia, jujur, dll).

2. Alangkah baiknya ketika kita bisa mengasihi Tuhan dengan kasih yg polos; yg tidak dicemari dengan motivasi2 yg tidak murni, keinginan dan dosa kita. Hubungan yg didasari dengan kasih ini akan menjadi sangatlah nikmat, bukan?


Thursday, December 24, 2009

Love and Purity

After reading the Passion and Purity by Elizabeth Elliot, I learn and get a lot of things from it about how we should give our love live to Christ.
From this book, I learn new concept and thought that probably I have been go through so the concept it self become a reminder for me to always live as God wanted me to be.

There are several interested concepts I learn from This book:
1. Contentment
Contentment we can get only in Christ alone. We cannot taste the real and pure love before we content fully in Christ. How do we know we are in the real contentment zone? It is when you wont depend on material and worldly relationship,you wont replace God with worldly things that you think is very important (spouse, parents, friends, car, etc). The main point of the contentment it self is "Seeking God first". Everything should be sacrifice for the sake of Christ for He is our creator, the omnipotent and he already paid us off, which mean he loves us and he never will hurt us even sometimes in circumstances that is difficult to see He still loves us.
The absolute contentment is in Christ. Marriage is not the main things that we use to fulfill our contentment to feel secure. marriage it just a gift that God given to us and a plus things from the contentment it self.

2. The real love
The real love is only when the relationship involved God in it. Love means we have to be selfless and charity. why Elizabeth say it is charity? coz when you love someone, you will give your best without taking for granted. We will do our part without ever asked them to have to give something that we think we suppose to have. That is the real love!!Somehow I wonder how many people can love their spouse in such a way when their spouse is different from their expectation? one thing that I belief is that when the person already lived in Christ, it is possible to happen for he/she loves their spouse by not using a worldly love but the love of God that lives in him/her.

3. the real man after God's own heart
I belief most us want to have a Godly man or woman as their spouse (I will emphasize from woman's view). What I experienced and what I red from this book is a man after God's own heart is the man who is willing to sacrifice everything even their beloved one (his GF) for the sake of Christ. It sounds very dramatic, huh? yes it is but this is how it suppose to be. It happens because he feels very in with God so God is too important for them. When the man has already in this point, they will more faithful and loves you for they are love you not because you are worth to be loved but because God call him to loves you to be his helper and the love that he used is the unconditional love to loves you.
we can see from Jim and Elizabeth Elliot relationship. Jim told her that he will give her to God as Abraham has already offered his precious and beloved son for God and he also said "I give my heart for you that I have given to Christ".
Besides, he is also willing to sacrifice everything even he has to give up his beloved one for her work in God's ministry. He wants the best for her with Christ.

4. Maintain purity
God commands us to live holy and pure for we are not our own but we are owned by Christ-"for you were bought with a price. So glory God in your body" 1 Corinthians 6:20. We are no longer the owner of our own body but He is who has died for us in the cross to clean our sin!

Saturday, November 28, 2009

Bless the Broken Road


I set out on a narrow way, many years ago
Hoping I would find true love, along the broken road
But I got lost a time or two
wipe my brow and kept pushing through
I couldn't see how every sign, pointed straight to you

Every long lost dream, led me to where you are
Others who broke my heart, they were just northern stars
Pointing me on my way, into your loving arms
This much I know is true
That God blessed the broken road
That led me straight to you

I think about the years I spent, just passing through
I'd like to have the time I lost, and give it back to you
But you just smile and take my hand
You've been there you understand
It's all part of a grander plan, that is coming true

Every long lost dream, led me to where you are
Others who broke my heart, they were just northern stars
Pointing me on my way, into your loving arms
This much I know, know is true
That God blessed the broken road
That led me straight to you

Now I'm just rolling home
Into your loving arms
This much I know, know is true
That God blessed the broken road
That led me straight to you
Yes, God blessed the broken road
That led me straight to you

This song is very encourage me a lot. It reminds me in the way of many struggle that I have to go through while waiting for His answer in my life.

I was notice with "Every long lost dream, led me to where you are..Others who broke my heart, they were just northern stars" why the writer choose the word of "northern star"? how it relates to the broken heart?
With the curiosity that I had, I directly found it in internet especially for the northern star term. According to the wikipedia, Northern star was used to know direction (west, east, south, north) and it oftens used by people who live in Jesus' period!
When I related that words with the previous sentence, I get that the true love that we dream long time ago until now, it leads us to get closer to Him. In the process of waiting, pressure from society to us, those things make us hurt (broken heart) and it also just a Northern star that turn our life in a certain direction to know what God wants for us or to get closer to His promise.

For most of single, when you are waiting for your "true love" that God intended to be, it requires a lot of passion. maybe people push us to find our bride/groom that cause sometimes we unsure with His promises to us.
But, one thing that i belief in our loneliness and in our singleness is we will get closer with Him. That's the beauty of singleness!
longing for intimacy in our loneliness that only we can get through Him; the source of love and strength coz we know that His love and plan us will never fail!

In the Sacred of Singleness, it says that God wants us to find the ultimate fulfillment in our heavenly pince before we meet our worldly prince in the world!

I wish for those who is single can enjoy their singleness as the gift from Christ to experience deep longing and intimacy with our perfect groom Jesus Christ:)

my last words for u is that single is not because we want it but because we have not found out our true love :)

wish you have a perfect time with our heavenly Prince in your singleness!

Thursday, September 24, 2009

Too Great and Too Wide

I am thinking why "A" thing suppose to happen in my life?
Why God put me in "B" situation?
And why God choose me to be in "C" condition?

I believe most of us have ever asked those kind of question in your life.
I personally ever asked these questions to God in my confusion in the reality of life.
I am trying and trying to comprehend what God wants me to be? what is His bright and the hopeful purpose as He said in Isaiah?

But I am finally realize, I am too limited to comprehend His thought and purposes in my life, so I will never know exactly what it id until He who the first one reveals it to me.

Our God is too great and too wide to be comprehended by our mind and our soul.

In fact, we are human who fall in sin. We want everything make sense and God's answer supposes to be beneficial answers for us. We are selfish. Whether you realize it or not, even when we keep our faith to God is just because we hope we could get something more from Him.

The answers is so simple, and is just one answer; it's all about HIM. Why I say this? Because He is our creator, without Him we will never exist. He has already died in the cross just because of us who is sinned. could you pay for His salvation? Nope, you never and ever can pay it off. so do you think we have a right to ask God more for our selfish wishes such as I want an happiness so I have to married, I have to get in in "A" university, get a lot of money, etc?? we can ask that. it is a normal thing but you have to ask your self, what is it for. is it for the glory of God and effectiveness for His plan in our life, or just for your own happiness and satisfaction?

Nothing eternal in this life. Don't let this worldly things make you replace His place with other things. God can gives it to you easily if He wants it, but because He loves us so much, He knows what are the things that is good for us. Sometimes, the things that we think is good for us, it doesn't necessary good in God's measurement.

to come to this point, it takes time. I take for 4 years to come to this point. is not an easy process to go through but it help me a lot to see God as the only God I can depend on, I trust and I believe in. and I also finally understand what paul means by "Life is Christ, and Die is gain", and also Philipians 1:20-24.


Wish this could become a blessing for all of you.
Gbu.