Friday, January 29, 2010

Suffering

2 hari yg lalu ketika saya baru selesai mengikuti intesive course di salah satu gereja di Jakarta, saya harus mengejar waktu les. Between 2 kegiatan tersebut saya ada wktu kosong selama 1 jam.
Saya nyetir mobil kira2 dari daerah kemayoran ke sunter membutuhkan waktu kiar2 15-20 menit (cukup cepat oleh karena saya sudah mencoba sepelan mungkin untuk ketempat tujuan sehingga saya tidak perlu menunggu di tempat les hingga waktunya tiba )
Ketika saya masuk kerumah lause saya dan tidak ada orang didalam so saya memutuskan menunggu sampai jam 2 teng didalam mobil dan kebetulan saya parkirnya pas dibawah pohon =)

pas didalam mobil, I was wondering what I am going to do?
and then saya memutuskan untuk membaca kitab roma pasal 5.
Di dalam pasal tersebut saya tercengang dengan roma 5:3-6 "....kita malah bermegah didalam kesengsaraan kita, karena kita tahu bahwa kesengsaraan itu menimbulkan tahan uji. Dan tahan uji itu menimbulkan pengharapan. Dan pengharpaan itu tidak mengecewakan, karena kasih Allah telah dicurahkan didalam hati kita oleh Roh Kudus yang telah dikaruniakan kepada kita. Karena waktu kita masih lemah, Kristus telah mati untuk kita orang2 durhaka pada waktu yg telah ditemtukan oleh Allah".

Saya merasa bahwa ayat ini menyatakan kehidupan kesengsaraan yg kita alami sebagai orang percaya dengan begitu detail, precise dan sangat bermakna. Oleh karena kesengsaraan yg kita alami tidak berhenti pada keadaan menderita saja tetapi juga ksesngsaraan yg menghasikan kita menjadi seorang yg lebih tahan uji. Tahan uji akan tantangan hidup kedepan, tidak mudah takut menghadapi situasi yg sama dan tak terduga itu, sehingga iman kita pun tidak goyah ketika berhasil menghadapi tantangan/kesengsaraan hidup itu sendiri. Sifat yg tahan uji itu memberikan kita pengahrapan didalam Tuhan. dikatan bahwa pengharpan itu datang oleh karena kasih Allah yg telah dicurahkan bagi kita anak2Nya ini.

Our suffering ga berhenti sampai pada kita sekedar menderita tetapi merupakan suatu proses daripada exercising our muscles of faith =)





Saturday, January 23, 2010

Here I am, Lord


I, the Lord of sea and sky,
I have heard My people cry.
All who dwell in dark and sin,
My hand will save.

I who made the stars of night,
I will make their darkness bright.
Who will bear My light to them?
Whom shall I send?

Here I am Lord, Is it I Lord?
I have heard You calling in the night.
I will go Lord, if You lead me.
I will hold Your people in my heart.

I, the Lord of snow and rain,
I have born my peoples pain.
I have wept for love of them, They turn away.
I will break their hearts of stone,
Give them hearts for love alone.
I will speak My word to them,
Whom shall I send?

Here I am Lord, Is it I Lord?
I have heard You calling in the night.
I will go Lord, if You lead me.
I will hold Your people in my heart.

I, the Lord of wind and flame,
I will tend the poor and lame.
I will set a feast for them,
My hand will save
Finest bread I will provide,
Till their hearts be satisfied.
I will give My life to them,
Whom shall I send?

Here I am Lord, Is it I Lord?
I have heard You calling in the night.
I will go Lord, if You lead me.
I will hold Your people in my heart.


Ps:
Biarlah lagu ini boleh menjadi berkat bagi setiap kita yg telah menjadi HambaNya dimana kita telah diberikan suatu hati, beban yg merupakan privilege daripada Tuhan untuk dipilih olehNya sebagai hamba pilihanNya.
Ingatlah panggilan mula2 kita sebagai hambaNya untuk terus maintain purity of life in His eyes:)
Gbu all!!!

Friday, January 22, 2010

Kasih yang Polos

topik yg cukup menarik dan uncommon untuk dibicarakan.
Topic ini keluar di pemikiran saya ketika mendengar sharing dari teman baik saya.
Long story short, saya belajar banyak hal dari sharing yg kami lakukan, yaitu:

1. Mengasihi dengan hati yg polos tidak mudah dan tidak banyak bisa kita dapat di dunia ini oleh karena kasih yg polos adalah kasih yg murni oleh karena kasih itu belum menjadi cacat (dilukai, etc) sehingga ketika kita mengasihi sesama, kita menggunakan kasih yg utuh (tanpa menquestioning dia, tanpa meragukan dia, jujur, dll).

2. Alangkah baiknya ketika kita bisa mengasihi Tuhan dengan kasih yg polos; yg tidak dicemari dengan motivasi2 yg tidak murni, keinginan dan dosa kita. Hubungan yg didasari dengan kasih ini akan menjadi sangatlah nikmat, bukan?


Wednesday, January 6, 2010

Begin and End it in Christ

Hari ini saya baca kitab 1 timotius 2-4, kitab dimana ditulis oleh Paulus dan ditujukan kepada Timotius yg dia anggap sebagai anaknya sendiri yg sah didalam Tuhan (1 tim 1; 2 tim 1).
Ketika saya membaca kitab ini, 2 Tim 4:7 "Aku telah mengakiri pertandingan yg baik, ak telah mencapai garis akhir dan aku telah memelihara iman". Ayat ini memiliki arti yg sangat significant bagi saya mengenai bagaimana kita sebagai seorang anak Tuhan harus mengakhiri hidup seperti Paulus. Tidak banyak orang bisa mengatakan kalimat ini (dlm term psychology, kalimat ini telah merepresent the highest level of cognitive domain which is evaluation level).
Bisa mengakhiri hidup kita didalam spiritual warfare bukanlah hal yg gampang dan adalah suatu pengalaman dan proses seumur hidup yg harus kita jalani hingga kita bertemu dengan Bapa disurga. Bagi saya, untuk bisa mencapai garis akhir dan mengakhiri hidup kita dengan baik didalam Tuhan diperlukan beberapa hal, diantaranya:

1. Selfless attitude
Begitu banyak tantangan dan tawaran yg begitu mengiurkan dari dunia membuat kita kadang kala mencoba untuk berkompromi untuk hidup benar, kudus dihadapan Tuhan. Sikap ini sangat diperlukan oleh karena tanpa selfless attitude; meninggalkan apa yg kita inginkan, ambisi kita, dll, kita tidak akan mungkin bisa maksimal dalam mencampai garis akhir dengan sesempurna mungkin. Seperti paulus didalam Filipi 3:8 "Malahan segala sesuatu kuanggap rugi, karena pengenalan akan Kristus Yesus, Tuhanku, lebih mulia dari pada semuanya. Oleh karena Dialah aku telah melepaskan semuanya itu dan menganggapnya sampah, supaya aku memperoleh Kristus"
Paulus melihat dan menilai pengalaman dia dengan Kristus dengan nilai yg sangatlah tinggi hingga dia bisa mengatakan "segala sesuatu kuanggap rugi...menganggapnya sampah.." Wowww such amazing deep and precise words that represent his personal experience with Christ!!!

2. Perjuangan
kalo kita perhatikan didalam kitab filipi ketika paulus di penjara, dia masih menasihatkan jemaat difilipi untuk tetepa berjuang!!! kita yg hidup tidak didalam keadaan penganiyaan seperti Paulus, seharusnya lebih bersemangat lagi!!!

3. Pengenalan yg dekat akan Tuhan
Pengenalan yg tiada hentinya sangat diperlukan karena dari inilah kita baru bisa berjuang dan memiliki selfless attitude. Selain itu, kasih dan setia akan datang karena kecintaan kita dan pentingnya Tuhan dalam hidup kita membuat kita tergila2 hingga mengorbankan apapun untuk Dia yg telah terlebih dahulu memberi diri untuk menyelamatkan kita.

Thursday, December 24, 2009

Love and Purity

After reading the Passion and Purity by Elizabeth Elliot, I learn and get a lot of things from it about how we should give our love live to Christ.
From this book, I learn new concept and thought that probably I have been go through so the concept it self become a reminder for me to always live as God wanted me to be.

There are several interested concepts I learn from This book:
1. Contentment
Contentment we can get only in Christ alone. We cannot taste the real and pure love before we content fully in Christ. How do we know we are in the real contentment zone? It is when you wont depend on material and worldly relationship,you wont replace God with worldly things that you think is very important (spouse, parents, friends, car, etc). The main point of the contentment it self is "Seeking God first". Everything should be sacrifice for the sake of Christ for He is our creator, the omnipotent and he already paid us off, which mean he loves us and he never will hurt us even sometimes in circumstances that is difficult to see He still loves us.
The absolute contentment is in Christ. Marriage is not the main things that we use to fulfill our contentment to feel secure. marriage it just a gift that God given to us and a plus things from the contentment it self.

2. The real love
The real love is only when the relationship involved God in it. Love means we have to be selfless and charity. why Elizabeth say it is charity? coz when you love someone, you will give your best without taking for granted. We will do our part without ever asked them to have to give something that we think we suppose to have. That is the real love!!Somehow I wonder how many people can love their spouse in such a way when their spouse is different from their expectation? one thing that I belief is that when the person already lived in Christ, it is possible to happen for he/she loves their spouse by not using a worldly love but the love of God that lives in him/her.

3. the real man after God's own heart
I belief most us want to have a Godly man or woman as their spouse (I will emphasize from woman's view). What I experienced and what I red from this book is a man after God's own heart is the man who is willing to sacrifice everything even their beloved one (his GF) for the sake of Christ. It sounds very dramatic, huh? yes it is but this is how it suppose to be. It happens because he feels very in with God so God is too important for them. When the man has already in this point, they will more faithful and loves you for they are love you not because you are worth to be loved but because God call him to loves you to be his helper and the love that he used is the unconditional love to loves you.
we can see from Jim and Elizabeth Elliot relationship. Jim told her that he will give her to God as Abraham has already offered his precious and beloved son for God and he also said "I give my heart for you that I have given to Christ".
Besides, he is also willing to sacrifice everything even he has to give up his beloved one for her work in God's ministry. He wants the best for her with Christ.

4. Maintain purity
God commands us to live holy and pure for we are not our own but we are owned by Christ-"for you were bought with a price. So glory God in your body" 1 Corinthians 6:20. We are no longer the owner of our own body but He is who has died for us in the cross to clean our sin!

Wednesday, December 23, 2009

Great Mom ever

It is a blessing for me to have such a great and loving mom "EVER".
I found out that I have a great mom who try her best in her imperfection as a mom.
In her confusion and difficulty to understand her daughter, she has already tried her best to understand her daughter's feeling and struggle.
I was cried alone in my room because of a struggle that I have to dealing with. My mom noticed it and she entered to my room, hugged me and said "it's ok to cry. I will be here with you".
I was shock and I cried out loud until I calm.
My mom gave a sentence that made me change my perspective about her.
she said "do you want to share something with me? if u don't want to share with me, it's ok, but remember even though your mom doesn't and not allow to help you, you still have God who always will be with u. He never leave you. Human can not understand u, but He will."
Wow,,my mom can said such a comforting words for me!!! She also sleep over night with me and pray for me while she was crying with me. It was very memorial moment for me :)



in the mother's day, we have a great night together with small surprise for my mom.
I wish all of us have these kinds of memorable time with our mom and always be thankful to God to have them in their imperfection for we are here because of her.

Saturday, November 28, 2009

Bless the Broken Road


I set out on a narrow way, many years ago
Hoping I would find true love, along the broken road
But I got lost a time or two
wipe my brow and kept pushing through
I couldn't see how every sign, pointed straight to you

Every long lost dream, led me to where you are
Others who broke my heart, they were just northern stars
Pointing me on my way, into your loving arms
This much I know is true
That God blessed the broken road
That led me straight to you

I think about the years I spent, just passing through
I'd like to have the time I lost, and give it back to you
But you just smile and take my hand
You've been there you understand
It's all part of a grander plan, that is coming true

Every long lost dream, led me to where you are
Others who broke my heart, they were just northern stars
Pointing me on my way, into your loving arms
This much I know, know is true
That God blessed the broken road
That led me straight to you

Now I'm just rolling home
Into your loving arms
This much I know, know is true
That God blessed the broken road
That led me straight to you
Yes, God blessed the broken road
That led me straight to you

This song is very encourage me a lot. It reminds me in the way of many struggle that I have to go through while waiting for His answer in my life.

I was notice with "Every long lost dream, led me to where you are..Others who broke my heart, they were just northern stars" why the writer choose the word of "northern star"? how it relates to the broken heart?
With the curiosity that I had, I directly found it in internet especially for the northern star term. According to the wikipedia, Northern star was used to know direction (west, east, south, north) and it oftens used by people who live in Jesus' period!
When I related that words with the previous sentence, I get that the true love that we dream long time ago until now, it leads us to get closer to Him. In the process of waiting, pressure from society to us, those things make us hurt (broken heart) and it also just a Northern star that turn our life in a certain direction to know what God wants for us or to get closer to His promise.

For most of single, when you are waiting for your "true love" that God intended to be, it requires a lot of passion. maybe people push us to find our bride/groom that cause sometimes we unsure with His promises to us.
But, one thing that i belief in our loneliness and in our singleness is we will get closer with Him. That's the beauty of singleness!
longing for intimacy in our loneliness that only we can get through Him; the source of love and strength coz we know that His love and plan us will never fail!

In the Sacred of Singleness, it says that God wants us to find the ultimate fulfillment in our heavenly pince before we meet our worldly prince in the world!

I wish for those who is single can enjoy their singleness as the gift from Christ to experience deep longing and intimacy with our perfect groom Jesus Christ:)

my last words for u is that single is not because we want it but because we have not found out our true love :)

wish you have a perfect time with our heavenly Prince in your singleness!

Thursday, November 12, 2009

Badminton and dancing

Hmmm...saya merasa bahwa ini adalah topic yg cukup unique dan juga merupakan topic yg berbeda yg pernah saya bawakan dalam blog saya ini.

Dua hari yg lalu, saya bermain badminton dengan cicik dan temen saya di CSUF. Sebenernya waktu itu lagi setengah hati, cuma saya mikir yasudalah toh saya uda jarang olahraga semenjak kepindahan saya di dormitory.

Ketika saya bermain dengan cicik saya 1 vs 1, saya merasa gerakan badan saya sangat flexible dan explorable dengan music yg sedang dimainkan di CSUF court. Saya merasa aneh dengan gerakan saya dan akhirnya saya mencoba memperhatikan setiap gerakan yg saya mainkan. saya menemukan bahwa badan saya juga ikutan bermain dengan musik sehingga flexibilitas yg memang dibutuhkan untuk menjangkau bola yg dilemparkan bisa tercapai.

Saya mencoba bermain 1 vs 2 dengan ketakutan yg ada tapi saya mencoba menghadapi ketakutan kalo saya bisa kalah. Dalam permainan ini saya belajar bahwa ketika kita tahu kelemahan dan taktik yg digunakan oleh sang musuh, bisa membuat flexibilitas kita bermain semakin lincah dan lancar. Hal ini juga tidak terlepas dari obersavasi dan belajar. walaupun kita memiliki tenaga tangan yg kuat tapi tidak disertai dengan hal diatas, permainan kita menjadi kurang maximal.

Saya belum expert disini tapi saya memiliki keinginan untuk masih dan harus terus belajar untuk bisa memainkan peranan saya di lapangan dengan baik.

implikasi dalam hidup:
1. belajar apa yg kita jalani dalam hidup baik itu hal yg kurang menyenangkan dan menyenangkan.
2. ketika kita berperan dan berlaku salah dalam hidup, kita akan diingatkan dengan kuesekuensi daripada apa yg kita lakukan.
3. Kuesekuensi tidak akan pernah pergi dalam hidup kita kecuali kemurahan dan anugrah daripada Tuhan bertidak dan diberikan kepada kita. (God is love and justice)
4. first performance dalam hidup kita sangat menentukan hidup kita selanjutnya bagaimana kita melihat diri kita, bertidak dan melihat dunia ini.